Marching days

I know, I know, February is like the poor relative at the Month's Ball, but still, what happened to February, anyone?

On my side of things, February has been a sort of "blah" month. Nothing too exciting going on, other than planning what to do on other, more interesting months of the year. Being now officially in March, I can safely report that the difference with February is not yet that evident. We have hope, though.

As Bibu does not go to daycare on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I kind of hoped that today he would oblige and sleep a bit later, say until 7:30 or something. But no such luck, of course. At around 6:30 I could hear his bablings which I pretended to ignore until around 7. I say "pretended" as it's literally impossible for me to go back to sleep with a background of low-decibel whinning. Mr M has no such problem, I am sure he could sleep next to a functioning pneumatic driller.

Anyway, early start and Bibu was ready to hit the "páque" as soon as breakfast was done. I diverted his attention for a while with some drawing and a Skype session with the abuelos and we finally left the appartment around 10.

The weather today was just plain awful, cold and grey (very much like at home in Brussels, I should note) so we just did a walk until Azabu Juban for some groceries' shopping and then a quick stop at the Starbucks in the big Tsutaya bookshop in Roppongi Hills. As usual, the Tsutaya was populated mostly with "wives who don't work and whose kids are at school for a few good hours" variety. Give or take a couple of baby-ed expats, and a couple of men perusing the "Runners Weekly" or whatever, it is was pretty much a ladies joint.

Bibu behaved quite well -I suppose the fleeting presence of a cranberry scone had something to do with it- an then we were off to the playground nearby. We didn't stay long as it was indeed getting very chilly, but it was nice.

The afternoon nap went as usual, then it was milk and cookies for Bibu (he explicitly asked for the milk) and off for then another walk. Indeed I go out a lot with Bibu, but with no TV in the house and a very hiperactive kiddo, well, he needs his free air and so do I. I am happy that he really likes to walk, so hopefully his stroller days will be over in the next few months or so. Granted, it's tedious at times running after him in the street, checking that he doesn't walk in the pavement and by all means I still need to go out with the stroller at hand, as last week I decided to leave it in the appartment and ended up carrying 13 kg of descendant in my arms back home, much to the dislike of my back, ouch!

Mr M is again entertaining his visiting colleagues tonight and leaves for Shangai tomorrow, for 3 days. In addition, I have arranged my Japanese catch-up lessson for Friday morning, meaning this week I will have classes every day that Bibu is at the creche so no free morning. Not ideal, but I didn't have much of a choice, seeing as the course finishes in three weeks and that I am going to miss two classes.

So, anyway, this is what my typical days look like lately. definitely looking forward to warmer weathers.

Challenging peanuts or the joys and pits of raising small kids

A couple of bloggers I follow have recently written about the struggle it is sometimes to cope with their toddlers. The subject definitely rings home, with Bibu being 20 months and fast approaching the "terrible two's" as they call them.

Actually, today is a very appropiate day to touch this topic as a few minutes ago I put Bibu on the corner for hitting poor mama on purpose after head-butting mama by accident. The accidental head-butting (more a "teeth-butting" as he left the inprint of his front teeth in my cheekbone) I can take. The taking a plastic fan, the ones they give you everywhere in the Tokyo summertime to fan yourself while enduring 31 degrees and more humidity than the Amazonian Forest, and hitting me deliberately with it, that I could not take, and off we was sent to the "time-out corner". It was the culmination of a difficult morning, him being a bit tired, I guess, and complaining about everything, and me feeling my patience run thinner and thinner by the second. Bibu stayed put in the corner and after a couple of minutes I went to explain how it was always baaad to hit someone and that he had to say sorry mum, pat-pat in the back, big hug and kiss and all forgotten.

By all means, up to now I have to say that Bibu is indeed a very sweet little boy whose tantrums are quite short lived and low on the annoyance factor. He knows when he has done something wrong and usually lets go of a fixed (bad) idea after a couple of minutes. I've experience first hand some very horrible tantrums by some fellow little friends of Bibu and it definitely makes me appreciate his good temper even more. Of course, that may all change in a few months, even a few weeks, but for now, all is good most of the time.

We all know that bad behaviour is normal part and parcel of growing up and that toddlers are learning their boundaries constantly and that they need us to teach them what's wrong and what's right and why. It's part of parenthood and a fact of life. But indeed at times it can get frustrating when you say something calmly for the 646478946513th time and no result, or when you are trying to manage a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket when you have not slept good, you are dressed in baby stained clothes, your grey hair roots are showing and you have not make up on and look like Morticia Adams. You know it's a small thing in THE BIG SCOPE OF THINGS and that THIS TOO SHALL PASS, but it's not nice and can seem at times like an unsurmontable mountain.

Personally, in these few months since we moved to Tokyo and I started my two-year full time mum status thing, I've realised that being the whole day with your kids is much harder work than going to the office every day. I am not saying it's not nice, not at all. I love the fact I get to spend these couple of years so close to Bibu and being there for him to see him grow and help him grow. But it is much, much harder than I thought.

In an office job, you know when your working day begins and when it ends. You know that every now and then during the day you can take a break and have a cup of coffee and a chat with your colleagues and have lunch in peace. With Bibu, I know I usually have a couple of hours in the afternoon when he's having his nap and another couple of hours at night once he's gonne to bed. The rest of the day is arranged around him. Eating is something you do at the speed of lightning, almost choking on your food while trying to avoid pumpking puree to become a permanent fixture of the carpet.

There is also the endless cooking -and planning of cooking and making sure you have the ingredients you need for all the cooking-, and a bit of house cleaning on the side and your days go very, very fast indeed.

On the other hand, I dont' need to rush from the office to the nursery every afternoon on time to pick Bibu up, as was the case in Brussels. I dont' feel guilty of leaving him the whole day at daycare and only enjoying him for a meagre couple of hours every day. Now I am there myself to educate him, without having a nanny do it for me....etc.

I think what it all boils down to is that there is no perfect situation and it's a case of "the grass is greener on the neighbours' garden". If you work, you daydream of not working anymore and be the whole day at home with your kid, if you do, there are days when office life seems like heaven.

I think there are no 'perfect' mums and 'perfect' kids, as there are no "perfect" jobs, and that there are periods when things are a bit more challenging than others.

I can be quite a control freak and feel bad when I feel things are out of control, the house is a mess, Bibu is behaving badly and I am super tired. On those moments I try to stay "zen", get on with it and try to remember that, in the big picture, these challenging moments are just peanuts.

It's a cold, cold winterrrr

We are in FEBRUARY already, darling! February!!! And it's COLD! Cold, cold, cold.

Mr M left yesterday for Shangai and he'll return on Friday.

The heating is on (a toasty 23 degrees) but my hands are semi frozen still.

I think tonight I'll sleep with my granny wooly socks on.


PS: brrr......!

Tokyo with toddlers: Tokyo's Metropolitan Children Hall

It's been a while since my last children-related post, so here you go:

Yesterday there was no school at Bibu's daycare, so along with two other mums from his group, we headed to the Children's Castle in near Omotesando. We arrived and to our surprise the place only opens at 12:30 on weekdays, which is kind of odd for a kids place. In toddlerdom, middday equals lunch followed by long afternoon nap (also known as LAN), so waiting until the place opened was not really a very inviting option.

We asked the nice ladies at the counter where else we could go that would be open at 10:30 and they gave us a flyer of the "Tokyo Metropolitan Children's Hall" which was about 10 minutes' walk in nearby Shibuya (same street as the Tower Records shop)

So there we headed and I have to say it was a nice surprise. It's basically a 5 floor building completely devoted to Tokyoite kids (and their stressed parents) and it's completely free of charge. We headed to the toddlers free-play area, where there is a large wooden structure with slides and a low hanging bridge and plenty of toys for small girls and boys. The area was heavily staffed with minders who kept things tidy and did even speak a little English. Seeing as our brood were enjoying themselves so much at the toddler room, we didn't visit the other floors, but there is also a large library, a rooftop playground which opens during the summer months, and several arts and science areas.

Being a weekday, there was some people but not at all crowded, which was nice. I imagine on weekends it must be a bit more 'cosy', so to speak. The only minor drawback was that there was no cafeteria, only a pic-nic area where you can eat your bento and some vending machines.

All in all, a great morning out. Bibu and his pals were completely exhausted after all the playing and running around and the LAN went like a dream. :-)

A mighty decade

It's really incredible how it's almost 10 years after the millenium happened. Not only is a new year beginning, but a new decade. So a little decade-examining reflection is de rigueur. It has definitely been an important decade for me.

Year 2000 started with a bittersweet taste. After being unemployed for 9 months or so, a few days before the end of 1999 I started to work at a small French telecoms company's office in Buenos Aires. A week before that, my beloved great-aunt died of cancer and left a big hole in my heart. I still miss her and will do so til the end of my life.

Later in 2000 I moved for the first time on my own and I travelled a lot for work. I went to Rio, NY, Miami and Marseille, enjoying the sweet times of the telecom industry. I also reconnected with lost friends from high school.

In December 2001, a big economic and financial crisis hit Argentina and all hell broke loose. People's bank accounts were frozen and most people lost a lot of their savings. I didn't have much to lose, so my finances didn't suffer much. But I did lost the will to live in a country that would allow such things. A country that would smash your efforts and suffocate your dreams. I decided it was time to do something about it and my long-baked dream of living abroad started to become more tangible.

The ensuing crisis that hit the telecom industry speeded things along and, after desisting to move to Mexico to keep my job, in April 2002 I got my severance package and used the money to make my exit to Europe, where I landed in August 2002. I chose Antwerp, Belgium, as a starting point, because my good friend C. lived there and offered to live with her while I looked for a job. I met Mr M on the same day I landed in Belgium (although we only started dating a few months later) A few weeks later I landed a part-time job at a banking institution. On my free time I followed French and Nederlands courses and walked through Antwerp a lot. My friend C. moved out to live with her then-boyfriend (now husband) and I took over the lease of her appartment, a lovely attic in the heart of Antwerp.

I moved in with Mr M in Brussels in 2003, just in time to start a new job near the Zaventem airport. In 2004 we bought our lovely appartment and started working on home renovations, which we realised over the years: first the garden and a deck terrace, then de kitchen, then an extension, lately a brand new bathroom....

In 2005 we started trying for a baby and in May 2008 Bibu finally showed up, feeling our lives with a lot of new adventures. In June 2007 we got married in Brussels and in May last year we started our latest adventure: a couple of years living the expat life in Tokyo.

So, it's ten years from the 'millenium bug' thing and I've come a long way, baby.

Wonder what this new decade will bring. Adventure beckons!

Around the world in 80 blogs: TOKYO

Lovely everydaystranger has challenged her readers to write about the cities we all live in on the same day, thus provoking a sort of virtual mega travel bonanza. Today is the D day and, being a loyal reader to her blog for about three years now, here I am, reporting from the land of the rising sun which got lost in translation.



I have been living in Tokyo for just over five months. Hubby (Mr M), Bibu (my 18 month son) and myself moved here last June courtesy of Mr M's job, on a two-year international assignment. Home is Brussels, Belgium, where Mr M is from. I am from far-far away in the ass of the world, also known as Buenos Aires, Argentina, but have been living in Belgium for the last seven years.



Anyway, in these five months I've come to love this completely mesmerising city. When I first arrived I was expecting it all to look very futuristic and crazy and noisy with lots of neon and people posing for photos doing the "v" of victory. Well, Tokyo is that but so much more. Sure, you have the super crowded areas and Shinjuku station at 6pm will never be a favourite place. But it is also the cleanest city in the world, where you can buy your groceries 24hs/7 at the "conbini" (convenience stores), get hot coffee or tea from vending machines in the street and get a taxi with a white-globed chauffeur just for you.




Tokyo can also be a suprisingly quiet city. Strolling around Daikanyama or Shirokanedai on a lazy Saturday afternoon, you wonder where all the people is gone (to Shinjuku, probably) It's also a very easy city to cycle around. OK, easy in terms of traffic, but not so easy in the sense that Tokyo is a very hilly place. Great workout for the legs, though!



The language is an issue, of course. My first trips to the supermarket where a sort of lottery where I would shop by deduction and by imaginative label drawing interpretation. I can only say 'good morning/ afternoon" and "thank you" so instead I do a lot of idiot smiling, but well, in January I'll start following lessons, so at least I can expand a bit my repertoire.



In short, Tokyo has definitely surpassed my expectations. In these few months I've become used to living here. Quality of life is very good and the weather is really nice. Only major drawback are indeed the earthquakes, which are very much a part of everyday life. So far we've experienced a couple of minor ones, the ones you feel like you live over a busy train station. They lasted for about 20 seconds, but they left quite an impression on me. People dont' seem to be much bothered by them, but for me, they are definitely NOT on my list of "Tokyo's Favourite Things".




Anyway, must go now, got a trillion things to do this week, as on Friday we're heading to Brussels for three weeks, for the Xmas holidays. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing our friends and the Belgian family. Hope you enjoyed this little tour around Tokyo.

Hitting the five month mark

So we've been officially in Tokyo for five months now. I know, it's not so much, just over half a pregnancy, almost the trial period for a new job, but longer than most holidays. It seems both a long time and only a quarter of our scheduled time here.

Most expats would tell you that "the first six months are the hardest" and I will not be original on this and will completely agree. It's not just the getting settled, finding your way around the neighbourhood, meeting some new people, finding a school for your kids, figuring out the public transport system, dealing with a language you have absolutely no clue about.... It's that and much more. Namely a change of lifestyle so big that it gets a long time to get used to.

For me, besides all these things, it was mainly the switch between being a working person and being a full time stay at home mum and housewife. It's hard work, harder than I thought. Bibu goes three mornings a week to daycare and that's when I get to choose how I spend my time. The rest, is really not for me to decide. I know that running after a one-and-a-half dynamic kid is supposed to be like this. But it's tough. Add to that the wish to keep the apartment at least superficially clean and tidy and have food available to eat at the right times and that is a whole lot of work.

I am naturally very undisciplined and my attention span is very short. I am doing one thing and leave it unfinished to start doing something else that caught my eye and which I feel must be done NOW. Put Bibu in the picture and it's not surprise at the end of the day I feel like a mad chicken with its head half chopped off.

Eeuww.... what a metaphore ....

Anyway, in five months we have achieved a lot also, namely:

- Bibu (and us) love his daycare. It was recommended to me by our neighbours who have a kid about Bibu's age. I'm really-really happy with it.

- Finally managed to apply for Japanese lessons. I start in January right after we're back from BXLs.

- We've done quite a lot of sightseeing in and around Tokyo. I feel I know my way around the city and I definitely like it.

- I'm biking everywhere. I am not a sports person, so committing to weekly swimming sessions was a short lived gig. Biking, however is something I would happily do every day. I live the feeling and the fact you arrive fast everywhere.

- Finally dared to leave Bibu with a babysitter for a couple of hours while Mr M and I went to have a lovely dinner. It all went well and the lady is super sweet. Should do that again, it was worth every Yen.

- Went once to Argentina with Bibu (all 32 hours worth of trip) and we both survived. Seeing my family so happy to see Bibu (and myself) made all the sleep deprivation worth.

- Made a few acquaintances, which is no mean feat. I still miss my friends from my 'normal life' in Belgium, but I will see them in a few days. In any case, it's nice to meet new people.

- Bibu's best friends are a Japanese little boy and a Brazilian-Dutch little boy from daycare. Their mums are also very cool. We've been to an aquarium together with the kids and it was a very fun day. Bibu loves to hold onto a framed photo of the three we took there.

And on that note, and seeing that it is time for Bibu to wake up from his morning nap, I leave you for now. I promise I'll be writing a bit more often in the future (Bibu allowing) See ya!